July 24, 2023
Buckle up, buttercups, this chapter's peppered with enough salty language to make a sailor blush. Sensitive petals beware, you've been warned.
Seriously, WTF?
Right, so. What the actual, freaking, flying F*** is going on with my hair? I'm talking about a full-blown, four-inch bald spot. You HAVE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING. ME. Hairpocalypse had officially begun, and my mane was staging a full-blown mutiny.
After many mirror selfies in contorted poses later, I unleash the panic button on my girl gang. "Is this a bald spot?! HELP! What do I do?!" Silence. Three little dots came and went on my screen, signs that my girls didn't know what to say next, waiting for someone else to make the first move in that group text. My seasoned support system was suddenly adrift in the face of my follicular storm.
I guess this is really happening...
The rest of the day was a blur with denial's slow crumble, and a mounting sense of "now what?" Like any warrior queen facing a medical gauntlet designed by men, I researched. Because at that point, what did I actually know about Alopecia? Very little. My context for it was twofold:
High school memories surfaced of a boy with sudden gray streaks and bald patches, the aftermath of some much-rumored, unknown trauma.
The slap heard around the world. (I won't put his wife's name in my mouth at this time.)
So that knowledge clearly wasn't enough to do anything except freak me out. After a couple of quick google searches, I wrote into my doc's office to get an appointment with her STAT. "Sure, we can work you in." Six days away? Fine, I'll wait. Except, plot twist three days later - "doc has a family emergency, so we have to cancel your appointment."
Doctor number two (my endocrinologist that helps me with my Hashimoto's), worked me in the next week, looked at my growing bald spot, and confirmed: yes, my hair is AWOL.
Thanks, Captain Obvious. Please tell me what I do now to stop this? "Take some hair vitamins."
Seriously? This is my life we're talking about, not a bad hair day!
Google searchified...
Guess it's time to channel my inner MacGyver and figure this out myself. After many hours in the WebMD rabbit hole and Reddit forums later, it turns out, I wasn't alone. Baldness potions, advice threads, DIY headscarf tutorials – a whole follicular family was out there that I never knew existed. It gave me some hope. Surely, I can figure out how to patch things up with duct tape and determination myself, amiright?
Dear readers, I am not right.
So click here for the next part - this one is fun. You get to meet one prized member of my girl gang, Heather, as we start piecing together this follicular puzzle.
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